Location: the fragile state of Alaska:
I’m tired and testy, and suffering a bad case of literary road rage. Today, the only corners I have cut are the four corners.
Caught Todd masturbating with a copy of Snowmobiler magazine. What the fuck? He must have a vivid imagination. Meet my husband world – Mr Fetish. He is very unwholesome.
This time Todd, you’ve gone too far. This will result in a public shaming if it gets out. Move along people, nothing to read here.
He says it’s because I’ve become arrogantly dismissive of his sexual needs. Really?.
Does he not realise that I keep moving forward, but he just keeps getting more annoying?.
Let’s just say, Todd did not win the gene lottery. Just saying…….
I don’t feel comfortable telling him that pouring my hard earned sexual status as world’s most desirable MILF into a chronic home grown canopy dweller like him is the last thing I’d want to do.
I’d rather hunt kittens from a helicopter. Really, I would.
Todd said “Build it first – then you can play”. I think it was some kind of sexual innuendo, or he was mis-quoting Field of Dreams.
On a side note, Todd does have a Clintonian ability to remember the names of countless models of snowmobiles, just as Clinton did names of people he met briefly.
Had a call today from a Mr Daddy Warbucks of The Profit Snatching Corporation of America. He is a global gentleman, but extremely orotund. He said money is no problem for me for 2012. A quiet wow!. He is a very nice man. Since he makes all the guns that we use in the wars we start, letting him own me would be staying true to our troops on the front line.
He wouldn’t dare ask for a refund would he?. Asking for a refund is the cheapest conservatism.
The Atlantic magazine said today that starting a sentence with “Did you hear what Palin said?” is the political joke equivalent of “A dyslexic walks into a bra.” There is no punchline. The joke has already been told”.
Political bah humbug.
This is why I drink.
Yours, while being a victim of cut and paste journalism.
Sarah P.
p.s. Monsignor has finally agreed to gather the secret society and vote on my proposal to rule the world.
Check out my new website, it tears Democrats a fresh one: The Sarah Palin Experience
No comments:
Post a Comment