In the age of the internet, debating has become much more prevalent than ever before. People from all walks of life need only a computer and a connection to voice their opinions, argue their points and get feedback on topics they may have only discussed at the dinner table a generation ago. The old rules of never debating sex, religion or politics (which always made me wonder what of interest was left) are long gone, but some rules still remain, and it is those I want to discuss. Many seem to think that having a computer and an opinion are all that they need in order to have a debate, and it is this position that makes me want to bang my head against my desk when I realize I’ve stumbled into the Land of Lacking Intellect. Below are some basic rules of debate that everyone could benefit from.
1. Do not debate with your emotions, do it with your intellect. If you cannot handle criticism or your opinions cannot withstand the slightest amount of scrutiny, debating is something you shouldn’t bother with. Yes, we often debate things that we feel passionate about. Yes, we hope to convince others and to be proven right in the end. But debate is not about passion or ego, it is about discussion, education and rationale. There is nothing shameful about admitting you are wrong when someone brings an idea to light that you had not yet considered–quite the opposite, the debate was a huge success if you have learned something, taught others something and walked away with a better perspective than you came in with.You may not be emotionally comfortable with the result, but that is just part of being human. Sometimes, our morals and emotions conflict with logic and reality. Abortion is a perfect example. Emotionally, I am repulsed at the idea. Logically, banning legal abortion is absurd. In a debate, I will always take the pro-choice position because despite it bringing out negative emotions, it stands up better to logic.
2. Similarly, do not take things personally. When I tell you that I find your position poorly thought out, not logical or a tad naive, I am not saying that you are unintelligent. On the other side of that, when I agree with you or tell you that you’ve given me something to think about, this does not mean I find you more intelligent than me or that I will agree with you next time around. Debating is the exchange of ideas, not our feelings towards eachother. Sometimes we will see eye to eye, sometimes we won’t–my personal opinion of you has little to do with that.
3. Personal attacks are an automatic loss. The moment someone says “you’re just an idiot, so why should I care?”, they have been defeated, even if their position was the stronger one. If one cannot stick to facts and theories and has to resort to attacking their opponent, they clearly either do not have anything to back up their position, or hasn’t the patience to do so.
4. Keep an open mind. I touched on this in #2, but I think it is important enough to warrant its own slot. Admitting you are wrong, or that you hadn’t considered a certain position before, or that you simply are not informed enough to take a position is not a bad or shameful thing! It took me a long time to learn this one, as I wanted to always come across as intelligent. What I finally realized, however, is that intelligent people stagnate when their egos begin to get in the way. If I give the impression that I already know everything, only one of two things can happen–I get called on it and humiliated, or I am believed and never learn anything. Either one is a huge detriment to anyone who craves knowledge and enjoys debating. Do not ever be shy about saying “I really don’t know much about this topic, but would like to…can you recommend a good book/website/course, or give me a little of your own information?”. If you are debating with worthwhile opponents, they will happily provide you with a starting point, and respect you all the more. Also, be willing to change your mind if it seems your opponent is right. This is part of the point of debate–exchanging positions, ideas and facts until one comes out on top. If it becomes clear that you have not given your position enough thought or that you are misinformed, do not feel the fool–feel grateful that you are walking away that much more knowledgeable!
5. Grammar and spelling are not everything, but they are something. Some people just do not have fantastic English skills, but giving it a little effort will go a long way. There is nothing more ridiculous than someone saying “your dum. How culd u beleeve that?”. If you are going to question my intelligence, you may want to learn to spell the word “intelligence”. Spell check is your friend, I assure you.
6. Back up your facts. Anyone can throw around facts or statistics to strengthen their position, but if you cannot provide reliable sources, they are meaningless. No one is going to take an internet stranger’s facts at face value, nor should they. Be prepared to share your sources and provide reasons why you find them reliable. It’s not meant as an insult, it’s so that we can research these things ourselves and make an informed decision one way or the other.
7. Know when to bow out. Often, there will come a point when neither side is going to budge, either because both opponents have equal knowledge and simply disagree about what to do with it, or because both opponents are starting to bring too much emotion into the debate. There will also come a point when you realize the person you are debating is an extremist of some variety, and is simply not going to listen to reason. Debate should not feel like banging your head against a brick wall, and it is better to forfeit and keep your sanity than sink to their level and lose the respect of others and yourself!
Following these simple rules will make debates much more fun, educational and useful. The internet has created an environment in which everyone’s voice can be heard–make the most of it!
