Saturday, October 31, 2009

727. Self-esteem, -image, and -interest: Self-image III

Self-image works continually in background to guide and keep us aligned and consistent with our beliefs and convictions of who and what we are.

More imaginary than real, two examples follow of how self-image governs one woman’s life and prevents her going off her self-defined track:

Chaste Until Married

·        If she can’t imagine it happening this way, it won’t.

·        She dedicates and believes herself quite capable to avoid sex until she has a husband. Through several courtships she succeeds and finally yields when she marries. She neither betrays herself nor demeans her image of Self. She stays on the track that she laid for herself.

·        That’s how self-image guides her. Not to keep her chaste, although it has that effect. But to prevent her deviating from her image of Self that she created for herself.

Screen Men by Cooking

·        She doesn’t cook well but wants to learn. So, she decides to practice as part of her screening process of men. It will be her way or the highway.

·        She commits to this modus operandi: For their third date she cooks for each guy. (She thinks: If he likes my poor cooking, think how he’ll love me after I really learn how.)

·        Because she also practices virtual virginity, she controls the agenda and insists they end the evening early. Not to curtail the fun, but to demo that other things are more important, namely dedication to herself, her plans, her intentions, her independence.

·        Her plans fit the image she has of herself, and she expects to keep it that way. The more committed to her plans and preparations, the more likely she’ll stay within the boundaries of her self-image.

·        Incidentally, the more committed to her own independence, standards, and control of such evenings, the more respect she earns from the guys—provided they are interested in more than sex in the first place. Also, the more she learns about the guys’ intentions.

In everyday affairs, the more numerous her beliefs and convictions about herself and the stronger her commitment to them and herself, the more reliable her self-image guides and helps keep her on the right track she determines for herself.

Self-image concludes tomorrow. Self-interest should follow the next day.

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