Saturday, October 24, 2009

What Are You Up To?

It’s hard to imagine the college life without text messaging, nevermind without cell phones.  Can you imagine having to make PLANS to meet up in advance?  No wonder people used to go on dates.

Now that I’ve been back in the states for a few months, I’ve been re-introduced to a five-letter text message that does not exist in England:

What are you up to

The English boys were too daft to ever ask a girl directly what she was doing in such an obviously sexual way.  And don’t try to tell me this text isn’t overtly sexual…or at least doesn’t overtly say “I’M INTERESTED.”  Anyone in college knows what this text means.

What is so magical about this text?

  1. It’s not too direct.  It doesn’t ask exactly what the receiver is doing.
  2. But it’s still a question that elicits a response.
  3. It implies that there’s a “for the night” suffix.
  4. It’s a code that means I’M INTERESTED.

Usually when I get this text I roll my eyes.  So formulaic. Not again.  But because this text is so normal, we must analyze it in terms of when it’s sent.  A 9:00 PM “What are you up to” is a lot different from a 2:24 AM “What are you up to,” which is what I received last night.

In fact, what I received last night was so interesting because it came from a Frenchman.  The last time he wanted to meet up he texted “Where are you.”  Now that two weeks have passed and he’s become A MAN SLUT proficient in American courting rituals, he’s graduated to a 2:24 AM “What are you up to”

You want to know what I’m “up to” at 2:24 in the morning?

Excuse me, “what are YOU up to?” is the real question.

Oh wait, I already know!

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