Because global warming, war, the economic crisis, our crumbling infrastructure, and nuclear proliferation are not serious enough issues to occupy our elected officials, Rhode Island lawmakers recently attended to the very important business of ensuring that sex does not cost money in their state. Up until lately Rhode Island was one of the few states whose citizens enjoyed the freedom to, if they so chose, do business with prostitutes.
Life? Liberty? Happiness? Fuck that shit, I'm moralizin'!
Critics of the move might point out that it goes against everything the USA allegedly stands for, namely the right to live freely in a way that makes them happy. Of course people who fret over things like that are chicken little alarmists; Rhode Islanders are perfectly free… to live by the standards set by the meddlesome moralizers they apparently elected.
Besides, only evil degenerates would ever have sex with prostitutes. I know this because a man in a suit told me he read about it in an anthology of the edited and translated writings of prescientific desert barbarians which was dictated to them by an invisible man who lives in the sky! And you don’t want to make the invisible man who lives in the sky angry, do you?
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