I’m having quite a time figuring this one out lately
We’re all stuck in the matrix. We have been so absorbed into the digital world that we can’t even figure things out on our own anymore. It has literally come to the point that even for basic life skills and experiences, you are not required to leave the comfort of your home to figure out or see. We, as digital beings, need to go back to the stone age, or perhaps even our infant years and touch the fire stove and learn that it is hot. Take a risk and suffer the consequences. Go skinny dipping. Hell, we could even just go outside for a bit.
The sheer number of pussies in this world can be demonstrated fairly easy using our easily identified, and fully praised overlord: Google.
The above images are real, folks. People are asking how to kiss, how to get pregnant, why they’re not losing weight, why they’re depressed, even going as far as to ask “why am I ugly?”
The answer to all of the questions asked above (except for the internet related ones) is simply: Go out and try it, thats how.
These people really need to be told how to live?
Well, I’ll be writing them an open letter right now.
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Dear Overweight, depressed, ugly, kiss-free, poor cooking, wannabe mother, googling whore,
Have you ever looked in a mirror before? Have you ever kept track of the things you do or say? Have you even once considered how much of a jackass you might actually be? If the answer is no to all 3 of those questions, then you just might be the hopeless sack of bones you make yourself out to be. Are you really so useless or incapable that the idea of going out in public and possibly trying something is absolutely horrendous to you? Then I do not wish for your well-being. Consider this: when you were a kid (if a behemoth, mouth breathing twat like you ever was one) did you figure things out by googling them? Probably not, at least, I didn’t. If we wanted to know about something, we’d go smell, touch, bite, throw, hit or grab it. If we didn’t care to know about anything, it wouldn’t have even stolen our attention for a moment. Now, instead of ‘discovering themselves’, we have people like you spending their time on the internet ‘googling’ their traits, problems and setbacks to figure out what’s wrong with their life. News Flash: Nothing is wrong, what you’re experiencing is a part of life. A part of life that you are now missing out on because instead of facing it, you’re reading about other people facing it, on the internet, at home, in the dark. Now it’s probably dawning on you that I am being very critical about your lifestyle, and its probably offending you instead of making you feel like shit. Maybe it is making you feel like shit, that would be good, considering you should feel like shit. You’ve essentially “cheated life”. Congratulations. You are a plague on the world itself, you do nothing but consume and you detract from the wellness of society overall. Your mind is simply a relay of whatever you read on the internet. In fact, you’re more of a robot than a person at this point. I believe I speak for everyone who isn’t like you when I say, “Come join us in the real world, but if you don’t want to, or can’t for some bullshit reason or disorder you recently discovered on the internet, then fuck off forever.”. We are human beings, we are not materialized wikipedias, we respond to consequence and reaction. We learn by doing, and from our experiences and perceptions of those experiences. If you do not want to “do” things, and instead you just want to read about them, then seriously… fuck off. How to kiss? How to get pregnant? Really? I’ll tell you what. You’re better off doing neither, because I’m imagining you look like a rhinoceros mated with jabba the hut and the comic book guy from The Simpsons, complete with double cleft lip and down syndrome, and aids. The reason you don’t know how to kiss, or get pregnant, or solve a rubix cube, or lose weight — is because you’ve never applied yourself to trying it, and figuring it out on your own. You are quite literally SKIPPING the most important parts of those things, just to ‘get them done’. Well, what’s the point? Like I always said, it is never fun to cheat in video games (unless we’re talking about GTA or the likes.. pure carnage rules) so why would it be fun to cheat in real life?
Since you’re so useless, I suggest you just combine your googling adventures and get it over with. Search for what you’re really looking for an answer for…
In the meantime, while you’re getting in my way on the road or on the sidewalks, promise me you’ll never breed?
Thanks,
XYFTW
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Go outside, do what you want to do, if something interests you, try it out, act on your primal desires.
(I do not condone rape or anything of the sorts)
To me, I cannot think of anything more important than every once in awhile, breaking free of the jail that is our digital lives and going out and doing the thing we like or want to learn more about.
Laziness should not be an obstacle when it comes to seeking enjoyment.
Laziness is what I consider “down time” from doing so many things we like. We don’t want to exhaust our resources of fun, after all. Laziness should not be the thing preventing you from doing something, it should be the thing you resort to after doing pretty much everything.
Want to talk to that cute girl? Do it.
Want to learn how to ride a motorcycle? Go do it.
Want to figure out how to kiss someone? How about you go and find someone who will actually kiss you first, and then do it.
Want to know how to lose weight? Have you tried the obvious? Yes? Have you tried the obvious for an extended period? No? THEN GO DO IT.
Want to know how to get pregnant? Yeah, there’s no hope for you. Babies come from swans or some shit. Only the lucky mommies get them.
Also, if anyone who reads this knows someone who is caught in the digital world far too much, I suggest you get away from them.
This shit is poisonous. Have you ever wondered why the internet is the host of the world’s dumbest shit? It is because, like I said, this shit is poisonous. Life is easier when you don’t have to live it.
So, naturally, people are driven to ask the DUMBEST SHIT EVER. They have absolutely no problem with simply asking about it, instead of putting their pride or name on the line to see for themselves. Don’t see the problem with this? well fuck you.
Thanks!
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